Finding Your Center
Section I

Finding your Center is a procedure to help people take charge of their own self-definition as a healthy, joyful person. I will start by assuming that at some times in your life you have had exciting, fun, satisfying experiences. If not, see the next section of this post.

If you have had exciting, fun, satisfying experiences, follow the steps below:

Step 1: Make a list of the experiences -- I suggest you list them as separate categories;

            Joyful -- times when you were excited, happy, had fun, 

            Satisfaction -- times when you felt you had achieved a goal, gotten compliments, done a 

                                 good job

            Relief -- times when you felt full after eating, felt good because you got a hug, felt good
                       after a deep breath, felt good after going to the bathroom, felt good because you
                       were dressed warmly or cooled off after being hot.

Step 2: Pick an "anchor" or "trigger" for each category.  An anchor (or trigger) can be an image, a word, or a physical action (such as -- squeeze your left thumb and first two fingers together for 3 seconds;  touch an ear lobe for 3 seconds; or whatever simple movement that is noticeable and simple for you.)

An "anchor set" involves doing all three sensory systems at the same time -- an image (visual), a word (sound), and a physical action.

By sorting the categories into Joy, Satisfaction and Relief, you can  'stack' similar experiences on the same anchor or pick a separate anchor set for each category. I encourage the use of a 'set' meaning each category gets its own image, word and physical action. For example, you could anchor Joy by squeezing your thumb and fingers, saying the word 'Joy' or 'Happy' and seeing a bunch of balloons.

Each of these anchoring elements can be whatever you choose. You can then use a different set for Satisfaction and another for Relief. Keep the anchor sets to 3 at most unless you have a special category or experience of your own.

Step 3: Use your breathing exercise, relaxation method or whatever procedure you prefer for meditation to get into a relaxed feeling that helps make your imagery more vivid.

Step 4: Image, using the visual first, whatever experience led to a feeling of Joy. When that image is vivid enough for you, say your word and do the physical anchor. Repeat for as many images as you wish to stack in the categories. You can take as many sessions as you feel are necessary and useful to anchor the three categories. Stack as many experiences as you wish on each anchor set.

Step 5: When you finish a set of anchored experiences, see, hear and feel yourself using that anchor set in your day-to-day life in a variety of settings. Repeat for each of the experience categories. See, hear and feel yourself experiencing Joy, Satisfaction, and Relief using your anchor sets.

Step 6: Use your anchors in the course of following days in a variety of settings with a variety of different people at a variety of times during the day. Repeat Step 4 if necessary to make the anchors more vivid. Generally you will find that once is adequate for setting the anchors. What tends to make the anchors more useful is repetition in your daily experiences -- the more you use them the better they, and you, work.

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 The Zones of Awareness Exercise

Zones-of-Awareness is a concept borrowed from Gestalt therapy. According to the gestalt folks, there are 3 zones of awareness:

1.     In your head - thinking, ruminating, crowded, racing thoughts, planning, etc.

2.     In your body - noticing needs, levels of arousal, discomfort, pain

3.     Outside - checking people, places, etc.

The Zones of Awareness Exercise can give you a sense of where you may be "sticking" yourself and reducing your ability to use all your resources and strengths. Ideally, we should have a balance of these three zones that enhance healthy functioning.

The typical exercise for experiencing the zones of awareness is to close your eyes, take a deep breath and just drift with whatever awareness you experience. Allow that to happen for 30 seconds to a minute. Open your eyes and come back to your outside environment. Where were you the most aware–head, body, outside?

Close your eyes once again. This time rather than allowing the awareness to simply drift, direct your awareness to a different zone. Experience that other zone for 30 seconds to a minute and then come back. Where was your awareness focused? Did it take some energy to maintain focus on that other zone? Were you easily drawn back to another?

This simple exercise gives you an opportunity to experience your preferred zone or zones of awareness.  You may not need to bother with this exercise. As you review your usual behaviors and thinking/feeling patterns you will likely be aware of your preference for one or 2 zones while excluding another.

For example, people who are obsessing, worrying or have crowded, racing thoughts tend to spend an inordinate amount of time in their head. Obviously this will exclude the other zones.   

Others spend a lot of time worrying about physical ailments or the possibility of physical ailments. 

Some people will focus almost exclusively on their effects on other people and in that sense they become performers rather than being centered in knowing what they want for themselves.   

This information plus other combinations – head/body, head/outside, body/outside -- can lead to variations that can provide you information for attention to desired changes. See Find Your Center - Access to Joy, Satisfaction and Relief  -  in future blogs.

 copyright, 2014, Bill Falzett, PhD

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